Tulip's Kitchen: Specially formulated diet designed to help women!

Saturday 18 April 2009

Specially formulated diet designed to help women!

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during the day

BREAKFAST
1 Grapefruit
1 slice wholemeal toast
1 cup skimmed milk

LUNCH
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 biscuit

AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the biscuits from the packet
1 tub of Gino Ginelli ice cream with chocolate topping

DINNER
4 bottles of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size Supreme pizza
3 chocolate bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK
1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

REMEMBER :'stressed' spelled backwards is 'desserts'

Send this to four women and you will lose two kilograms
Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew) and you will lose 10 kgs
IF you delete this message you will gain 10 kgs

Finally, here's some advice for you:

Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started........So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonay , a bole of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a pockage of biscuits , the mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke, some saltins an a bax a cholates..

Yu haf no idr who gud I fel.

Only kidding, received this in an email yesterday from a good friend of mine and just had to share it with you, it made me laugh out loud!!!

4 comments:

Marie Rayner said...: Sounds like a great diet to me Julie! Pass me that chocolate!; 18 April 2009 at 07:31
Tulip said...: Hic...no can do Marie, just finished the bole of vodka I had lie in around...lol; 18 April 2009 at 11:03
chris said...: Sounds familiar..............LOL; 18 April 2009 at 14:07
Anonymous said...: I've been on this diet for the past 4 months and it shows! ARRGG!!!; 20 April 2009 at 18:10

Post a Comment

This started out as a place for all those recipes on scraps of paper...

...the photocopies, my barbie folder, the crumpled napkins, the hastily scribbled notes, you know the sort of thing! But it has turned into so much more!
I now show all my pampered chef recipes, along with all my wheat free, IPD (Idiot Proof Diet) recipes along with anything I find off the IPD forum. I've even cooked up recipes for others as they'd like to see the dish made before attempting it. I'm open to suggestions but please remember that this was started as a personal project, I'm not a photographer, I don't get paid for it, its just for fun!

Feel free let me know if you have any questions or you need a recipe that I haven't posted or indeed any corrections. This is usually done very early in the morning when I've just woke up or very late at night when i should be asleep...you get the picture!!!

There is a 'translate this page' button at the bottom of the page should you need it, although it doesn't include translating my North East slang...sorry :-P

Tulips Fridge Door - What the magnets say...

A balanced diet…A chocolate in each hand
Complaints about this kitchen can cause serious damage to your health
Dull women have immaculate houses
I can’t be creative as well as tidy.
If you haven’t got wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
It’s not alcohol that gives you a hangover, it’s waking up!
I’m smiling because you’re my sister, I’m laughing because there’s nothing you can do about it.
Living life to my husbands credit limit
Many people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to live healthy lives.

Cooking Tips

* Keep turning pork chops over, don't let the moisture cook out of them. Cook only till pink then let them finish off while resting, this way you won't over cook them.

* To test to see if an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cold, salted water. If it sinks, it's fresh. If it floats, throw it away!!

* Get yourself a bunch of fresh corinader, wash and trim the stems. Dry on paper towels then put in individual freezer snack bags. Freeze. When you need some fresh coriander just get a pack from the freezer, crush or chop and add to your recipe.

* Use a pizza cutter to cut bars or tray bakes into nice, smooth squares.

* To keep cauliflower white while cooking - add a little milk to the water.

* Microwave a lemon for 15 seconds and double the juice you get before squeezing.

* To remove egg shells from a batter, use the remaining shell to attract the piece.

* If you need only 1/2 an onion, save the root half. It will last longer.

* One pound of all purpose flour is the equivalent to 4 cups.

* When using rice, remember that 1 cup of uncooked long-grain white rice makes 3 cups cooked.